Privatization of liquor sales in Ontario
We'll begin today with a rant about privatization of liquor sales in Ontario.
In Ontario, liquor sales are controlled by the aptly named Liquor Control Board of Ontario. There are many of these LCBO stores all around Ontario - at least one in every, city, burg, and hamlet in the province it seems, and it is the only place to get liquor in the province. Because a single "company" controls all of the sales of liquor in the province, there is consistency in pricing and promotion. If there is a nickel off a bottle of wine in Timmins, that nickel will come off a bottle in Stouffville as well. I'll admit that the liquor stores are all uniformly clean, modern, beautifully decorated and well-stocked. And the staff is efficient. I don't think I have ever waited in any real line up of note at a LCBO store.
But those well-appointed stores have to be paid for somehow. And they are paid for by elevating the prices of everything in the store. The sales are useless because there is no competition. If your local store doesn't have something you want, you must drive to the next nearest store to hopefully get it, and if the LCBO doesn't carry it, you are out of luck unless you leave the province. Recently I went in for a bottle of Sheridan’s, which is this cool Irish liqueur that is actually two bottles stuck together - a racially harmonic marriage of white liqueur and black liqueur. The bottle has two spouts in the neck. When you pour, two thin streams - one black and one white, issue forth into the glass (usually a snifter) If you pour just right you can layer the drink for an even more impressive effect. Though Sheridan's tastes good, it's not really my kind of drink but I like to have it behind my bar, plus it makes a great gift. But when my local LCBO sells it only in the mickey size then what the hell am I to do? I can't give a mickey as a gift!
Being a native Ontarian, I have been dealing with the LCBO my whole life. As a minor, I bought my booze at the LCBO with fake ID, and now as a major, I buy my booze there out of routine and as I mentioned before - I don't have a choice. I probably could continue on blindly doing this very thing for the rest of my life too except for two things.
First, I have friends in Quebec. Though liquor sales are regulated there too by the SAQ (The Society of Alcohol in Quebec - cool name...) it only really controls the hard liquor this way. Beer and wine can be sold in convenience stores and groceries stores. Right away, because of this I can get booze more hours of the day than in Ontario.
More importantly, While there is a liquor store in every town in Ontario, there is a depanneur on every BLOCK in Qu�bec. You are much closer to the booze you are going to buy in Qu�bec. Most importantly of all, being able to buy wine in the grocery store means you can conveniently and easily mate wine with food right at the grocery, and you don't have to keep a little stockpile of wine in your cold-storage as I do in Ontario. And most importantly still is that deregulated booze means better sales and promotions and because of competition, generally lower prices. I was skeptical at first, but lately I travel to Quebec several times per year and the last few times, I've been bringing back 3 or 4 two-fours; the beer is that much cheaper!
The second reason I am getting pissed off with the way liquor and wine in distributed in Ontario lately is the staff. These people are little better than stock boys and cashiers yet they present themselves with the attitude of trained professionals. I'm not saying that these people are less important than me (actually yes...I totally am) but I can't shake the feeling that they are looking down at me. I mean, you put the bottle up on the shelf and I take it down. You take the money and I give the money...how are you better than me when I do the exactly same thing as you when I am in the store and I haven't even had the benefit of your comprehensive liquor store training?
Because liquor staff are unionized, periodically they threaten to go on strike. They tell us that they would like to avoid ever actually ever going on strike because of the repercussions to the average consumer that it would entail. Apparently, my world would be turned upside down if these plebes ever struck. So what they do instead is again, they threaten to strike unless they get their raise or the extra benefits - because putting a bottle of whiskey right next to another bottle of whiskey is a dangerous and demanding job...They remind me that they are liquor dispensing professionals...you know what? I said before that there are no lineups at liquor stores...except when the union is threatening to strike, then there are lineups out the door. Then there is nothing left on the shelves because of the run on booze. I mean, I like to drink as much as the next person, but let's say that something disturbed the supply of liquor for the next YEAR...I would survive! I'd brew my own beer. I'd drink what I have for Christ’s sake. I certainly would refuse to be held hostage by these knobs. I guess the only people stupider than liquor store professionals are liquor store customers. (except me) It's sad really.
They tell you that if convenience stores were allowed to sell booze then children would be lying drunk in the street...which is a scary thought because it would be hard to drive without damaging the undercarriage of my small hatchback if there were all of these road bumps scattered around our streets except again, I've been to Qu�bec (and Alberta and British Columbia for that matter) and I've only ever seen one or two drunk babies hanging out in their strollers outside of the depanneur, certainly not the masses described in the union literature.
So in essence, I fucking hate the LCBO. I hate the insolent staff and the limited availability and the lack of competition and the inflexible pricing and the hours of operation. I whole heartedly support the deregulation of liquor store sales in Ontario but I am sad as I realize that, with the current infrastructure in place, I know that this will never happen in my lifetime. The Ontario government simply makes too much money from it and has too many well-decorated and well-appointed buildings in place to ever release the grip it has on liquor store sales, which means I guess I will be forever making my three times yearly 6-hour drives to Quebec for 144 beers at a time...